Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize