I look better un-naked...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
