Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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