The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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