actually, I'm a sock model
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
