I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
