Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
