I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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