what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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