I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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