Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
