There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
