i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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