I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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