Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
