Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
