I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize