actually, I'm a sock model
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
