worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize