this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
