I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
