hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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