too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
