allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
