he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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