Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
