y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
