This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
