Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
