Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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