come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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