I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
