They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
