Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize