Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
