he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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