The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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