quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
