no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
