id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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