Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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