dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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