We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
