adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you had me at cake vodka
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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