its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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