I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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