I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
