I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
