Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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