fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
