I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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