drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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