K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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