You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
