Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
