I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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