My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
