I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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