Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
