I will die if light touches me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
