It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize