he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
