THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i need some magic done to my vagina
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