after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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